I write.

Going through and reading some of the blog posts I’ve written in the last year makes me a little sad. I feel as if I’ve lost my ability to write. I feel as if my voice isn’t coming through, and I realize there is only one thing to do about it. Write more.

Before I came back to painting in 2017, for YEARS I wrote blogs. Granted, most of the time, they were private, but I wrote. Before painting to process, I wrote to process.

I certainly don’t claim to have ever been good at it. I’m known for run on sentences and using far. too. much. chop. But, even if I start sentences with prepositions, I feel the need to return to expressing my thoughts in words. So, here I am. I write.

I believe my biggest inhibitor when it comes to my writing has been my hesitancy to include my faith in my art. I think I’m overcoming that hesitancy. I haven’t wanted to only be know as a Christian artist. I am a Christian. I am an artist. My art is incredibly informed by my faith, but I want my work to draw others to the beauty of Christ, not be turned off before they even experience beauty. In that, my captions on instagram, and the way I talk about my work has changed over the years.

That being said, I’ve decided that here is a space for it. Here, I want you to know me. Because I truly believe that if you’re here, it’s because you’ve already been drawn in by some beauty that is beyond me. So, whether faith in Jesus is your cup of tea or not, it’s the foundation on which I build beauty, so for that, it must be included in my story.

I’m reading a book called Gentle and Lowly exploring the heart of the person of Jesus. I was profoundly affected by the following in regards to my need to create.

Our trouble is that we do not take the Scripture seriously when it speaks of us as Christ’s body. Christ is the head; we are His own body parts. How does a head feel about His own flesh? The apostle Paul tells us: “He nourishes and cherishes it” (Eph. 5:29). And then Paul make the explicit connection to Christ: “just as Christ does the church. because we are members of his body” (5:29-30). How do we care for a wounded body part? We nurse it, bandage it, protect it, give it time to heal. For that body part isn’t just a close friend; it’s part of us. So with Christ and believers. We are part of Him . . .

Over time as I create I have come to understand my need to create beauty is His need, in me. I have come to see my hands, with a paintbrush, as His own, bring hope, healing, freedom, and beauty to the world. In the same way I cannot detach my art from my fingertips, I cannot detach Christ from my art. I believe as I explore this truth and give myself the freedom to include my faith in the way I talk about my art, I will grow, my art will improve, and only more beauty will be shared.